A Deep Green leaf

Sometimes I feel people who become popular or important and noticeable definitely are good and intelligent but even people who are not popular ,not thought of even once are even greater .We always tend to see what comes to the limelight ...what is beautiful but very often ignore the underlying factors which make that thing come to limelight .Yes I strongly believe there are personalities who effaces their own individuality to let the other person shine for they find a greater joy in that.So such thoughts made me write few lines about a rose and the green leaf which provides nourishment to it .....For that matter everyone has someone as the green leaf in their life to make them shine

Tell me if the rose alone looks good
or with its leaf .
Everyone talks about the rose
but I think of the leaf.

Beauty makes rose the queen
prickly protection of the thorn
makes it seen.

But no one thinks of MISS LEAF GREEN
I feel it is so divine .

Miss leaf green strong and dark in its gene
helps the rose to shine and be the queen .

Being ignored by you
For MISS LEAF GREEN is nothing new
so there is no cry
nor a single why.

Duty is beauty says MISS LEAF GREEN
but beauty is mighty pleads the rose queen .

No Compulsion, no obligation
only emotion and ambition of MISS LEAF GREEN
makes her strive for the queen to shine .

Happiness for her is few
She just waits for the dew

She knows she will
wither away with the willow
and soon turn yellow.

Love for her has no measure
and life no pleasure
but she knows she has to treasure ...

....Treasure life
MISS GREEN'S LIFE is to treasure
for others to understand loves measure.


Dew understands her to the full
so tries to make it cool.

Dew makes MISS LEAF GREEN
to turn again into a leaf deep green .

Dew drops sway away its tear drops
and with all this the leaf deep green
holds the rose
and so does life goes.....


(Dew for miss green are tears for human beings.......What say!!)

Your Glimpse......

Your glimpse
makes me shine
I know you are mine
and I am thine...

Your glimpse
evokes a sense of eternity
Yet even a feeling
Of uncertainity....

Your glimpse
makes me feel you are the best
but then I realise
you are better than the best .

Your glimpse
inculcates a dignity
but lying ahead with it
are volumes of responsibility

Your glimpse
helps me get ahead in life
but I really donot know
how much more to strife(ve)

Your glimpse
makes me fear
let these passing years
not turn into tears .

Your glimpse
reminds me of the rainbow
but then I notice
there are many whom I owe .

Your glimpse
rejuvenates the truth
Though true yet it hurts
For I realise ......

seeing and realising the rainbow is
rare yet possible
but touching it is impossible
and that is why

Your glimpse
makes me wonder CAN YOU REALLY BE MINE ?

I have been writing a lot of stuffs since past one month but was unable to find time to post those ......today finally could sit on the net to post those ...so there you go .....with a whole bunch of those instead of one..donot be surprised to see a lot of those together ...and donot wonder how I was able to think over so many stuffs on this day of Dec 13th 2006....I always like to write .......for few things roll over in my mind allt he time till I put them on paper as and when I get the chance but hardly get a chance to actaully organise and write...so finally am managing to comprehend all of those .....and posting .....anyways numeric 3 is always lucky for me .....so hope you like all the posts....

Smile

As a child I learnt and even thought, smiles are just one thing ....we learnt in our childhood ,smile even when something bad happens for smile is the only curve which can make things straight .But standing at this juncture of life I have realised number of principles ,classic actions and interesting reactions to one smile.As a child I always felt a smile is simple and perhaps the simplest of all things but as I entered into the growing complexities of life I feel everything gets complicated when one starts growing up..... even a meagre smile .....!!
Analysing anything for that matter would show its complex forms and it is always advisable to remain simple ....Few things are better not understood than understood ...that is why they say Ignorance is a bliss at times.But I really want to pen down my thoughts here about a smile which makes the world go round and round.
Now, analysing the various kinds of smile and the multitude of the arena it can cover I feel there is nothing as interesting as a smile on a face and its actions and reactions on others....and definitely vice versa (meaning action and reaction of others leading to a smile).Now I really have to substantiate my words with incidents else you would not be able to realise the complexity of the order with which these thoughts are pouring out.
Lets talk about smile pertaining to happiness....the smile on a baby's face for mom,the smile of a beloved in acceptance to that of the lover....the smile on parents face on the child's victory ,the smile on your boss's face on your success...and the smile on your face as you read this article and remember all your goodtimes....these are priceless ever valued smiles which are innocent and devoid of complexities of anysort.....Right from the heart.....!!
Now the other kinds of smiles..hey am not willing to write anymore probably complete someother time ...........sorryyyyyy





Do not mind criticism .If it is untrue disregard it ,if unfair keep from irritation,if it is ignorant, smile ;if it is justified it is not criticism ,learn from it.

Life ,Love or death which one is worth the word..?

Shakespeare says in'As you like it '.....Men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them but none died for love......Is life a blessing or curse that we have to live it till it leaves us..... instead of having our own control on it ...It might be harsh to us but we have no right to get rid of it ...and even if we want we cannot ......because there are other sorrows greater than love....But what came to my mind is .....Is death the end to all sorrows and pains and is it the worst thing that happens in life which makes Shakespeare say that none have betrayed life though being betrayed by love or unachievable love .Or did he mean Life has to go on irrespective of what happens to the life of an individual....
What I am thinking here is I must admit life is good and when it is good we all are happy and do not want to leave it but how about a difficult life ...where life does not feel to be a blessing anymore ......why do we need to drag it despite of knowing that this is not the way we wanted to live...All things happening are in contradiction to the life that we dreamt of ....Is it the attitude of being brave and a self confidence within us which keeps us going despite of lost love and smashing hopes or is it the inability to touch the cold hands of death keeps us moving.
Is life without love, worth it...Is life with lost love worth it ....Is life with love ...not loving you as much as you do worth it.....Is thinking about so many things worth it ?Some times life becomes so puzzling for me ....Ya truely said where there is love there is pain....Love your baby and turns to an adult and leaves you at the end of the day...love your daughter and she gets married only to part from you....love your friend and they spread rumours against you ,cheats you,love your family and there expectations never ends....love the first man in your life and he tells you you are not the only lady in his life....love still continues in its usual way and long way to go before you die or your love....only because every one and anyone who loves understands love is sacrifice.....One thing I have realised is..... love never dies a natural death.It dies because we do not know how to replenish its source.It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.It dies of illness and wounds.It dies of weariness,of witheringsof tarnishings...

Rightly said by Wiesel:
The opposite of love is not hate ...it is indifference
The opposite of art is not ugliness ...it is indifference
The opposite of faith is not heresy...it is indifference
And the opposite of life is not death ...it is indifference.


So this indifference in life makes all the difference.Indifference is the strongest force in the universe.It makes everything it touches meaningless.
Please do not add your name and be one more in the list whose life has been ruined because of indifference not because of love ,hatred or brutality.

I ....

I am....
Jovial

I get up...
early in the morning with a new solution to my problems.

I feel ..
God is great and Little more Great for me .

I love...
My ideas.

I have my strength ....
My husband

I have my weakness...
My Mom.

I want to do this tonight.....
Bake a nice cake and do lots of icing on it .

I Love ...
Brownies.

I like to ...
see it snowing in the evening .

I am crazy about ...
Long coats and full shoes meant for winter.

I am scared to ...
sing and dance.

I worry...
the unseen .

I rely ...
on the words of Bible.

I cook ....
on thursdays the most.

I confuse...
a lot while buying lipsticks.

I have a lot of ....
words to share with my friends.

I get sad....
when I want to go out and it is raining outside.

I hate ...
milk products.

I lie ....
to make few people happy.

I say the truth...
to make few people unhappy.

I get butterflies in my stomach....
every minute feeling that I lost something perhaps.

I get nauseatic ...
with every happy or sad moment.

I, as a kid...
liked one story my dad told me where the bath tub had cold drinks to bath and desert made of sugar.

I want a kid ...
who has deep brown eyes .

I help...
Small kids in teasing their classmates.

I eat ...
like a pig.

I sleep ...
a lot but still feel it is less.

I like...
attending marriages .

I get bored...
when people ask the same question when they know the answer.

I wish to ...
be the most beautiful lady in my husband's dictionary .

I want to....
go to India to buy 100 salwars.

I think....
All men should be happy all the time.

I feel .....
there is one princess in every home waiting for a prince.

I know ...
All my dreams will come true.

I believe ...
my Scooty can never start with the first kick.

I blow...
balloons till they burst thinking I can blow some more before it bursts.

I hide ...
when my brother wants me to write an essay for him.

I wonder....
how a Oriya dog understand Oriya ,telugu dog understands telugu and English dog understands english.

I question...
very often to analyse how people think.

I cry....
when I see lizards.

I bunked...
classes to attend others classes in different colleges .

I become suddenly brave....
when I remember the hard times in my life.

I feel yahoo messenger....
is a good place to know people you have not known ever in your life .

I think...
there is always a good way and a bad way of doing the same thing.

I shout ...
when my husband looks at the computer as if it is the saviour of his life ....without listening to my words.

I remember...
how great I felt when I sat in an Airplane the first time while going to Assam.

I hate ...
people who are saddist.

I own...
a small sorrow and a big joy .

I owe ....
a kiss to all those who love me and are far away from me.

I watch...
the sky in the night wondering why people admire moon when the stars though tiny can compensate the absence of the moon .But moon alone cannot look good.

I feel nice...
when I am with my Dad on a Maternity ward round because every one is happy with a new born child .

I always look for a chance.....
to talk over the phone when mom is not around.

I do not ...
want to drink diet Coke because I feel it is less areated.

I wait for ...
a moment to laugh and make others laugh till the tummy hurts.

I feel very sleepy....
when I am in a theatre.

I would....
like to rename French fries as Potato fries.

I thought...
the most difficult thing is to let go the person whom you love .

But I realised...
the most difficult thing would be to hold on to that person whom you love a lot realising that he does not love you as much as you do.

I will add to this some times else ...this is it for now....

My Train Stories....

Yes the day starts and everyday perhaps starts in the same way and ends in a similar fashion as well .There is overall no newness in life once you are into a job and when everything is going smooth.But human mind always wants to break the monotony so finds one or the other way to keep itself busy in discovering something new every time there is a chance.As far as I am concerned am no exception to the rule and definitely one in the crowd.For me also at the present moment life is confined from home to work and work to home ....sometimes feel the charm of old college days is lost ...when everyday was an adventure...every moment was a moment for exploring the world around...My life starts every morning from Chicago downtown to the north western suburbs ...to and fro like a pendulum oscillating in a regular defined way......same stairways ...same bus 20 Madison to the Washington street and then the blue line train till Rosemont.

The Monotony of the journey being ..... every day 50 mins of train ride...sitting idle crossing the same expressways ,same kind of people busy to get to work.But apart from the Word MONOTONY which I have used for the Nth time ever since I started this article........ there is something interesting which happens eveyrday in the same train with the same kind of people and sharing similar destination.(By destinations here I mean similar stoppage stations) I am in no hurry once I get on the train from the Washington station as my destination, the Rosemont station is the last but one before the final stop of the train .Within these 50 mins I have nothing to do except observing people and their behaviour .Sometimes, I must admit openly ,that the inquisitiveness to observe human behaviour pulls my ears towards the conversation that they would be having in their group of two or three.Certains words catch my mind ....certain emotions makes me think over again and again ....certain glimpses of the life style of an individual is definitely reflected from the gestures. Yes for some people it is definitely boring to observe others and foolish to ponder over strange kind of conclusions which are derived from moments of gestures.But mind you I do not analyse the individual what I analyse is how is the behaviour and way of thinking of one different from the other...even in short shots.It is certainly true that what I see in the train is only a snapshot of the behaviour rather than the overall behaviour but I feel nothing better is a place to observe the natural tendencies of anyone than in a train. It is not the workplace where you ought to abide by certain decorums ,follow certain notions and present yourself as desirable and exhibit professionalism .It is not home where you are in a relaxing mood with no tensions or apprehensions amidst family and behaving in a very informal way ,careless and do as you like .It is a place where you are surrounded by the general public who have no expectations from you and do not even know you.You are not expected to show anyone what you are for no one bothers about what you are .Yes. Train is an ideal place to know some part of a person for a person is normally what he is ,here ...rather then behaving in certain ways expected out of him in the workplace or home as well.Train is a point where it is neither like ....Do as they like(as in office)or Do as you like(as in home ).Be it home or work there is an obligation to someother party in what ever actions of yours ........but that is not the case in a train .A very natural ,self centred man can be seen who exhibits a behaviour which is absolutely unique to itself yet has to be rational. Now instead of trying to explain you why and how train is a good place to observe people ...making the long story short I have no other thing to do...is one of the motivating factor which drives me to do this...I might put a series of these train stories in my blogs instead of this one only as I have a lot of incidents which I want to share with you ...just one liner overheard conversations backed by my way of thinking ...so that you can also share somepart of your thoughts with me .If you agree to do this thought borrowing and lending job then I might start today itself......You know I am kind of scared to start with these stories because one might not be as intersting as the other since here would occur a comparitive study and as one feels good, the sad part is the other one might not be that good .The problem with any human is it increases the expectations.And once the expectations are increased the good things becomes taken for granted and the so called ''Gooder'' thing is desired instead of ''Good''. But I need to start despite of the interests and expectations from the other side.... ......


The train was crowded when I got into, an unusual occurence ,no place to stand people with their luggages and stuffs as the blue line train goes to the O'Hare International Airport.Somehow I managed to get into one of the corners ....No big deal for me ...I look like a dwarf in front of the general public especially people from the South side of the state....

Standing near me were two men .One guy in his early 40's tall ,robust and yes definitely tough .My desparate mind again came to its original freaking nature and I started getting swayed with my ocean of perceptions based on the looks and gestures.Tall ...ya tall would be the word to describe his height for I was hardly reaching his chests ...wearing an Armani perhaps with golden cufflings and a golden watch tied to the wrist.Looks of a gentleman ,rich and smart. As I stood close to him the smell of Pierre Cardin made me wonder the reason why he was on the Blue line .In front of him stood another guy sleek and slender ,yet handsome whose wedding ring was the first thing which caught my eyes.Must be in his late 20's .Fingers were like those of a lady carefully manicured and a huge diamond stud set on a tripod made it look as if his marriage is one among the so called successful ones.

The train was at its usual speed so conversations were fading out because of the sound .Yet body languages also make us realise few things as certain things can better be felt when seen rather than when heard.Confidence showed in one and overconfidence in the other.I really could not make out what they were talking because of the continous inturruptions made by the people moving in and out at every stoppage and announcements made in the train every now and then because of the construction work going on the railtracks.But the oneliner which caught my ears was ....Bob ,why do you always plan to buy ...I never plan to buy I always plan to sell.Again inconspicuos conversations ....I was thinking what is this guy trying to tell ...Is the logic really a good one ...Does the entrepreneur looks really represent an entreprenuer...And finally could understand what they were talking of ....as the guy with diamond ring waved him a good bye saying that ....OK George .Next time I plan, I will plan to sell houses instead of buying a house.

The words made a mark onmy mind ....Is it not great on anyones part to have an idea like this...Is this not what everyman needs to think to be successful....When we try to cater to the needs of other people it will definitely and invisibly cater to our own needs .I kept on wondering ...and also realised why success is not every ones cup of tea yet some really get a big share of it ....Why did I never ever thought in that way ......Will share more of my experiences but not now as I am too tired comprehending the initial story rather than explaining the tiny incidents ...But I promise next time I come up with a train story it will be a good one ...As that one would focus more on the story rather than the other details which I included in this one ....causing the dilution of the topic and purpose with which I started to write.

Restlessness-A sense of Deprivation or lack of Motivation...

I am sure the very word restlessness puts a big question mark on every one’s face...Is restlessness a sense of deprivation of something which is indeed needful or is it a sense of being a little bit demotivated in life.... or can the word restlessness be used with a positive intonation...What ever it is but everyone has to agree upon a single fact that it is just a state of mind rather than really being a problem in life...for that matter even problem itself is a complicated word to define .We cannot say that a problem leads to restlessness though sometimes it might . Similarly we cannot always say restlessness is caused because of problems but sometimes it could be .Restlessness in its true terms for me is a feeling within ourselves which is absolutely within the self rather then caused due to any outside circumstances or situations.Restlessness to a person can be categorised into various classes...one which is really irritating...another which could be filled with anxiety and joy ....other which is kind of a mixed feeling... a state of being extremely apprehensive....The degree of restlessness and the pain that it causes can never be expressed in words.Let me put few examples here and you, I believe, are smart enough to categorise it into the right basket .The sources of all the examples stated here are my dear friends ...(old woodies and buddies ). So here goes the endless list of situations where one is restless but you have to think which one really makes one sad and are all of them dragging one to be sad? I strongly believe NO is the answer. Think of someone getting late for the business meeting and has a connecting flight but misses it ....how about someone waiting for their results though they know they are good as pupils ....how about an would be dad whose wife is in the labour room who is getting restless to see the baby and does not know whether it is a baby boy or a girl ....how about a couple who goes for a movie in the theatre with their friends ...little is known to their friends about their relationship so they both being unable to sit together as one of the friend occupies the seat besides the lady bird....another similar example is a lover waiting for her beloved even if she says no she cannot come..... this guy waits being restless ....I sometimes really wonder is it really that restlessness causes pain....!!If so then why do we human beings always look for ways to get restless ....Is it so that man wants to be or to put it in other way enjoys being restless.....Or is man so very apprehensive about his every step, every action in life that he tends to get restless even with the slightest change .Patience is a sure shot solution to get out of a state like this ...but we human beings perhaps 'have learnt to ' enjoy the apprehensive state more than the way we could actually enjoy being patient .Now analysing the old bird in the nest again from a different perspective ....how does our restlessness affect and what effect does it have on the surroundings ....Telling you the first principle of effects of restlessness is Do not show it (though there are few exceptions which we will come to at a later stage). It might cause tension and a sting of restlessness to the right people and happiness to the wrong people. When I say right & wrong people I mean under the realms of the right people come all the people who are happy when we are happy. It includes our well wishers which includes definitely our parents and some relatives and few friends can be also included in this category. In a similar way wrong people must have made sense to you.Human mind as such is very complex. When all our basic needs are fulfilled and intangible things start giving happiness ,most of all tend to develop a sadist attitude within ourselves to a lesser or greater extent. So when we see someone else in a state of restlessness and we are the wrong set of people for him then we feel calm from inside. So please never show it for you never know who are the wrong set of people in your life.Even if my words do not sound very polished but think over it.Let me present the same thing in an appealing manner for people who are at this moment having conflict about the above words and are not ready to accept it. They say speaking out decreases the agony ...that could be true but lets view the same situation from two different places one being the victim and other being the mentor...Words are always endless and mentor can always explain in a good way that everything is going to be fine given some time ....But when the same person faces the similar situation the opposite one can become a very good mentor ....so does that solve the problem ...NO...We human beings are made up the same element, what causes pain to one also causes pain to other ...what creates a state of unrest in one will also definitely create in another. Mentoring might give a temporary solution but the permanent solution can only be given by us ....I am trying to end the topic as now I feel it is becoming too lengthy ...I dunno but words are many and not really many would be interested to read it, so am stopping here ...but still have few more words to say.....No let's end it hereJust the last sentence see I am getting restless to write somemore...but know how to control....end it with one more line...... Restlessness can never pave a path by being a solution to any problem but do not make it a pavement to get you into bigger problems in life.

Thoughts...

To write a blog itself signifes the fact that we want to pen down few of the words that fill the heart and come to mind ....Life does not come in a small package where everything seems to be in its tiny version easy to handle and interesting to deal with .So for a tiny person like me it is very difficult to control emotions and deal with every day happening in life.Some situations being really in its gigantic form to handle but yes I am very good at anlaysing all that is happening whether I can give a practical genuine solution to it or not...is a different question.
I always try to analyse the intricacy of the human mind ....why is it so that before knowing a person we try to make images and notions about what he is ...sometimes thoughts might be totally deceptive ,perceptions are made out of situations but situations differ one from the other so it is definitely wrong to carry a life long impression about a person based on the perception which is being created out of a certain behavioural approach based on the situation.
Situation varies mode of approach varies and so will perception vary but ....no....the person is never given a second chance....
See ...now I am writing something because that is how I am feeling ...but now that you are reading you are either trying to fit my words into one or other situation of your life or anxiuosly reading forward so that at the end you can make a jugdgement about me or trying to get a glimpse of what could have happened to me in the past .
It is definitely true that my writings reflect the way I write but it in no way reflects anything which I would have been through .Why not look at every writing in a non biased way ...and believe me when you view a writing in a neutral way you can really get the essence .We are not here to analyse the person who has penned down his thoughts ...We are on the blog to see how different could be an idea from my own ...what kind of thoughts could peep into someones mind which never got into my own.Again I am not inflicting here in any way my ways to see or read a blog but that is how i feel it .
If I start writing about a particular situation...let us say ....about an accident describing it to the fullest extent .... people might feel I am a victim of it though I write in the blog tht I saw it.Buddies, I might never have seen an accident but imagined it in my own ways and probable very good in penning it so tht should not make you all feel tht I met with the accident.If someone writes about his mom suddenly we either think of our mom and trying to match all the lines written by the person with our mom or feel tht the person really loves her mom a lot...but I feel ...... it might also happen the writer is actually an orphan or has a stepmom who has neevr felt the love of mother but has observed tht emotion very carefully and is so able to jot down in a sequential appealing manner...I might be wrong in all that I say but that is what I believe ....Try to see everything from a point where the story starts do not try to relate or corelate things to get the essence of what the author wants to say .But yes here I am missing an excellent way to attract the crowd as well .....that people like something only when they are able to identify themselves with the situation.Any story that resembles our story feels good to read ...we want our future to be seen and shown by other people ...we know stories always have gracious ends so want to identify ourself with it ......if we like a story we identify ourself with the hero ...becoz the movie is biased runs with a biased attitude towards the hero....lets talk about a drugs addict even he would like a film or a writing (if some stages of his life is shown) becoz he finds himself being pampered and sympathised by others ...people getting worried for him...but he will never be able to see the efforts tht needs to be done to change himself even if tht is being shown in the movie.He likes the movie because the movie acts as a messenger from his side to the community as to it can any given day explain in a better way his agony to the world than he himself..... but ......no that is not the end ...Conveying your pain to others do not solve the problem....every story is different from the other and we have to define what we want for I believe...... Get what you want else you will have what you get .This might be opposed to the popular notion ......since u cannot get what you want so want what you get ...but then choice is yours the later option is always open but I believe their is no harm in trying to get what we want ...if tht does not work out old proverbs definitely come to rescue all the time .

Love....the feeling or the person...?

Veni , Vedi ,Vinci.....Yes this is exactly what I would like to write while describing my feelings for him...He came .He saw and he conquered.Conquered my heart beholding its dignity. Being grown up and standing at this juncture of life I really wonder whether we love.. a person or the feeling,the reciprocation what we get from someone,which is more important ??what leaves a deep impression in our heart ....what do we really love ..the presence of the person or the feeling that is being carried out all the way because of the behavioural characteristics of the individual...
I strongly believe that we tend to remember anything which leaves a deep mark ,an ever lasting impression on our mind .It is not about good or bad,significant or insignificant but the uniqueness of the event that helps us in memorising the event /person even without a conscious effort.And among all these unique experiences some are loved because they bring old lost smiles on our face .Even though that memory would be an encryption of the past still we tend to be happy remembering of the uniqueness of the moment..
You must be wondering why am I trying to define what exactly memory is all about and also what love is ...When we are in love ..do we love the person only and is really love blind where we do not expect anything from the other side.....the mere presence of the person in our life justifies all that he does for us and even all that he does not......OR is love about a sense of reciprocation where you feel the person you love ,understands you and knows how you feel.....
I know this sounds pretty monotonous but let me ask few questions here ...
When you like the person ...he steps in and your world starts smiling you goof up with joy and some unseen unfelt happiness whirls your world so you feel you are in love ...but I really wonder what do you love in the whole process....the person stepping in...or the feeling that charges your mind ....
I may not make sense to many but think over it ...Which category do you fall into.......Do you like him for his lovely gestures and accent for you or would you still love him if at some point he is devoid of those gestures,attention and admirations for you which filled your world when it all started.....
Some fall in love with that feeling while others falll in love with the person but all call it love without realising how much is the worth of what....and life goes on accordingly and changes its face ...you know Alice has to come out of wonderland and face reality....someday or the other.....

weather changes ...so does life

Was once wondering what changes fast...the weather or life...
Weather and life goes hand in hand if viewed closely...
There is always a sunny day after a rainy day in both the cases...
Unreliable ,devation from the expected and a constant change is what is true for them .
Causes might be many and effects even nummerous but they stick on to their behaviour.
Nothing can bring about a stagnancy and I really wonder despite of the reluctancy to the change attribut ein both would we really be happy if it remains the same all the time...
Let me know if you have something to add here...