Naomi was in Costco doing shopping for Bridget her three yr old birthday girl, who held her heart and soul ....sometimes all the sorrows of your life seem petite in front of the petite happiness that you carry in your heart......such was her state of mind .......Even though we have everything at times we feel nullified by one sorrow of life and sometimes even when there is nothing much left we are cheerful with the one possesion of ours .....which one between these is a more creative creation of God I dont know but which one is more painful sure does everyone knows...........is this all a mind game? she thought.Does thinking really makes a man and fate has nothing to do with it ?Or is fate everything and no matter how much we think and plan we land up with our fate or is it a combination of fate and action....the most difficult and pertinent question is how do we draw a border line where we start trying and when we stop trying?How she wished playing games with words can change her life ......but CHANGE in what way ?who is going to detect the RIGHT way her life can be in ......what does she not have ....what can she not afford ....why then the agony.....anyways she rolled her cart to the front candy aisle thinking not all questions can be answered and not all questions need to be answered even to ONESELF.

Bridget wanted the funky spider web pretzels and it was not even September yet Halloween was all over the counters.......children can have anything anytime they want and donot understand the complexity of the society.....if that is the right way of living and thats how we are born why are we put through the social system of being educated so that we loose all the charm and learn tough ways to deal with the hard life which we would not have faced ,the fierce competetion the burning jealousy which ignites the satanic intent in others because of our own competence level.Why can't we be left out in the group if we prefer to be .Naomi tried to stop her thoughts which was strange yet seems correct to her most of the times.She put the master of the scene at tht point the williwonka pretzels in her cart and moved ahead while Bridget dancing in front and back .Small things make life worth living and it is these small joys of life which becomes intolerable for people with small filthy heart to see in others.

I am OK consoled Naomi to herself and finished her shopping paying the 80 yr old lady at the counter who swiped the members card with her shaky hands .The lady said 'She(Bridget) is precious'' and yes how could Naomi disagree to this ......It is for her that the sun rises in her deep dark valley and the sun sets promising to rise the next day in Naomi valley.Off they went to the pizza counter to get the zillion favorite 6 cheese pizza for Bridget and a four berry sundae in the store .

There they sat and the lovely daughter enjoying her treat after so much of jumping and jiggling .Naomi sat near her watching people buying things from the store and then queuing to get some food .While her eyes rolled here and there it got stuck to the booth just infront of them .......The daughter grown up possibly a teenager,accompanied by the mom who is definitely Asian with a sad unseen fear polished on her face looking at the husband as a deer looks at the lion and the husband talking softly yet there was something quite scornful in the body language.Sometimes you just see it and know it .........thats how Naomi felt as an adult.The Man left and the woman sat there with her daughter having her treat.Even though a teenager she was a kid too unaware of the prevailing parental conflict.She offered her mom with utmost love a bite of the slice of so called heaven for her mom ....Mom could not gulp her sorrows meekly said no and the girl kept eating again unaware .Ye Naomi saw it ...She saw the tear drop which came out from the lady's eyes and how subtly she wiped it without letting her daughter know of the agony tht lay in her heart.How Naomi wished the lady could wipe her trauma her terror the fear of her life with the same ease,the same way .....how does life feel when you can't even express your needs owing to the effect it would have on someone else's heart.How can you stop a tear drop from rolling out of the eyes when it is just hot and warm to shed down .Does anyone understand how heavy does it feel to keep the warm tear drop in the eye and the agony in the heart yet keep working and keep loving ?Naomi understood it .She exchanged looks with the lady consoled her unsayingly yet seemingly with a lofty smile to believe in God.and then thanked God for all that she has .......most of all that she can cry as much as she wants.......and none would bother!!!Sometimes being alone is better than having people around and being alone.